Darren and Jenny's Family: The Comedian

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

The Comedian

When the kids are doing something cute and I want to record them, something always precludes me from doing so. Most of the time it is because they see the camera, rush over, and exclaim, "Let me see! Let me see!" To which I reply, "Well, I need to record you first." This time, however, someone was trying to be a comedian.

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Camden

6 years:

That was a long time ago. That was in the year 2014!

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On his way out the door to go to school he either says, "Tell everyone I love them never ending," or "Tell everyone I love them infinity." If he forgets, he walks back just to make sure he lets us know.

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Why are there bad people in the world? How can they do those things? Don't they have a mom?

5 years:

Ciera was napping. Camden wanted to wake her up, so he could play with her. I, of course, told him no. Later, he was looking at pictures of her on the wall and said, "I'm just looking at pictures of Ciera and imagining us together. It makes me so happy, I just want to cry."

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Ciera knocked a picture off the wall in the hallway, and it shattered. She was okay, but I was surprised by how devastated Camden was. While crying, he exclaimed, "Now our house won't be as beautiful!"

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Camden was watching regular TV (something he doesn't do very often) and was quite impressed with the commercials. He eagerly relayed to me all the wisdom he had learned.

"Guess what I learned! If you get hurt in an accident and you don't have money to pay for it, there's people who can give you money for it. And, mom, if you ever have a tough stain, you can use oxyclean! It will get out anything!"

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Seeing Ciera walk around wrapped in a blanket, Camden said:

"Ohhhh. I just want to stick to her forever."

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"Counting to 100 doesn't take very long. It's just like counting to 10, ten times."

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Darren got hurt while he was playing ball with Camden.

Camden: At some point, you're just going to have to get over it.

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Mom: What do you want to drink?

Ciera: Hard water please.

Mom: Hard water? Do you know what hard water is? (I was thinking tap water that hasn't been softened)

Camden: (Dashing over to whisper in Ciera's ear) Hard water is ice.

Ciera: Ice!

4 years:

Darren was going to let the kids watch Aladdin. Camden asked, "Does it have a princess? I don't want princesses!"

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"One times five is five. One times 10 is 10. One times 100 is 100. One times Mommy is Mommy."

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"I'll be really nice and let you play with me."

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Camden was showing grandma how to play his new game, Rush Hour.

Camden: Here, you can try the hardest level first.

Grandma: How about I start with the beginning level so I can learn how to play.

Camden: No, I want you to do the hardest level.

Grandma: I would like to try it first on an easier level.

Camden: Well, sometimes you just have to do things that you don't want to.

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"You never know when something might happen, like this storm or a tornado or an earthquake."

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"I don't want to go on a mission, because I don't want to be put in jail." He has noticed that lots of missionaries in the scriptures are put in prison.

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"Desserts are so good, because if you have a bad day, it turns it around into a good day."

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"Don't watch me, because I might do something you don't like."

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"Mom, you're as beautiful as everything."

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When he saw his cake for his fourth birthday, he said, "I love that Finn McMissile cake. I love how it looks! He is waiting for me to eat him. He told me he doesn't want to be sitting around for a long time."

3 years:

"I don't know what voice you are using, but can you please use your normal voice?" This was said with exasperation to mom when she was reading a book with a very hoarse voice from a cold.

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Wrote his first story:

Once upon a time in the meadow there was an old cabin. There was a red cat, a blue mouse, and a green dog. They made pie soup every day. The dog got bored of it, so he made bread soup. The bread soup looks red and the pie soup looks black. Then the mouse and cat thought, "That's not pie soup, that's bread soup. We don't like bread soup, we like pie soup." Then a monster came and looked for them. Then the monster ate the green dog. Then he ate the red cat. Then there was just one left - the blue mouse. Then an earthquake tumbled and happened. "It's not an earthquake, it's a dinosaur," the blue mouse told the monster. Then, all-of-a-sudden, their friends came back. They climbed out of his mouth. Then an eraser came and erased them all and all their food and all their paint. The end.

Ciera:

3 years:

"Ow, my head hurts. I think my brain is too big for my head."

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When Ciera is rinsing the soap off her hands, she has started saying, "I'm getting all the soap out of my bones too."

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Mom: I just don't want you to grow up.

Ciera: No, mommy. I want to grow.

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She was hiding something she wasn't supposed to have behind her back.

Mom: Please give them to me.

Ciera: But you don't see them behind my back.

Mom tries to walk behind her.

Ciera: No, don't see them behind my back!

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Dad: Why don't you go get your pajamas on?

Ciera: No, bats don't sleep in the dark. They stay awake in the dark. And I'm a bat!

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After dance class, she said, "I want to dance lots. Does my teacher miss me? Is she sad?"

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Speaking to mom, "Your tummy is getting bigger and bigger. Is it going to pop?"

2 years:

"Let's go get in the car and go to the timeshare. Come on!"

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Ciera often asks to see the blog, so she can see pictures of herself. When she asked today, I showed her the blog again. She responded with, "I want to see pictures of Ciera in the ocean actually." I just wasn't getting to the ocean pictures fast enough!

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A few days after our vacation, Ciera came over to me, tapped my shoulder, then said, "Please, mommy... I want to go to the time share."

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Camden was afraid to walk down the hall and into his room in the dark. Ciera then walked down the dark hallway and into his dark room and said, "Here you go Camden. I turned your lamp on for you."

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"I have squishy skin"

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She has a bush baby stuffed animal that she loves, so we were reading a simple book about them. It mentioned how bush babies can see in the dark. I asked her if she wished she could see in the dark. She replied, "No! There are monsters in the dark! I don't want to see them!"

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Mom: I love you to pieces!

Ciera: I'm not in pieces! Put me back together! When you take me apart, I can't see you! It feels wrong!

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When she was climbing onto her bed and almost slipped, she said, "I almost fell off my bed and you weren't there to catch me!"

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Ciera: I can't go to sleep.

Mom: Why?

Ciera: I turned into the Magic School Bus and it never goes to sleep!

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Ciera could see into the bathroom and saw that the toilet paper was unrolled a little. She said, "I'm scared. The toilet paper is coming off. It's going to get me." I was thinking ????? Camden went and rolled it up all the way and Ciera said, "Thank you. That's much better!"

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"I can't talk, because my batteries are dead."

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I put one of Camden's old winter hats on her.

Ciera: I'm putting a dog hat on?

Mom: Yes.

Ciera: I bark!!!

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Mom: There's my darling girl!

Ciera: No, darling monster!

Then, a little later, I mentioned I had to put something in Ciera's room, and she corrected me, "No, monster's room!"

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Ciera: I'm afraid of the dark.

Mom: Then turn on the lamp.

Ciera: No, I like to be afraid.

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Darren was pretending to eat Ciera. Ciera told him, "Don't eat me, you're not a vampire. I'm a vampire. I have sharp teeth."

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"I have my bear bear. I have my giraffe. I have my wolf. I have my pillow. My pillow is blue. Camden is going to sleep too. Camden has his pillow. Camden's pillow is yellow. Camden has his doggy! I have my toys! I have my animals!"

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We were reading Horns to Toes and in Between by Sandra Boynton. Ciera was finding each body part on herself as it was mentioned in the book. When it got to the creature's tails, this is what transpired:

Ciera: Where's my tail?

Mom: You don't have a tail.

Ciera: I have a bum!

1 year:

Mom: You have pretty eyes.

Ciera: I have really far away black eyes.

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Dad: Please eat your applesauce. Stop playing with it.

Ciera: Stop it Daddy. I'm mixing it.

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When I wouldn't let her do something she wasn't supposed to, this was our conversation:

Ciera: Stupid Mommy.

Mom: Oh, that's not a nice thing to say. It made me feel sad.

Ciera: Stupid Ciera.

Mom: Ciera is not stupid. We just don't use that word.

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Ciera loves the song, "The Wheels on the Bus." This time when she was singing it right before her nap, the words were, "Hugs and nap, hugs and nap, hugs and nap. All over town."

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Mom: How old are you?

Ciera: One.

Mom: How old is Camden?

Ciera: Four.

Mom: How old is Mommy?

Ciera: Old one.

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Mom: Who do you love?

Ciera: Camden.

Mom: Who does Camden love?

Ciera: Ciera.

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Ciera was hugging herself and saying, "Give baby hugs."

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Camden was trying to push Ciera in her highchair, and Darren asked him to stop. Camden started to push her again, and Ciera said, "No! Time-out!"

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She will sometimes come up to us and put her finger on our nose and say, "shhhh," if she thinks we are talking too loud.

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"Camden too. Camden too."

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When she gets tired, she says, "Bear, bear. Bear, bear. Nap."

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"Ring of Fire. Ring of Fire. Ring of Fire." When she wants to watch Ring of Fire: IMAX (a show Camden likes about volcanoes).

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"Bye, Bye, mommy. Bye, Bye, mommy." She says this whenever she wants to do something she knows she is not supposed to or when she has a dirty diaper.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

The Comedian

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